August 18, 2011

Following the leader, the leader, the leader

Can you tell that I have been watching Peter Pan A LOT?!?! Tay goes through phases of movies. Right now, she is in a Peter Pan phase which means we watch parts of it at least 3 days a week.

This post actually has absolutely nothing to do with Peter Pan, movies, or Taylor. It has to do with marriage.

One area in marriage where I struggle is in following Mark. Let me say this first, Mark is AWESOME! God made him to be the leader of our family and I am to submit to his authority (there is that dang submit word). The majority of the time we agree on our family decisions. Those are the easy ones.

But lately…

A few posts back, I wrote about some uncertainties that I have surrounding our adoption. I still feel 100% led to adopt. I still feel 100% that our baby is in Africa. BUT I no longer feel 100% that our baby is in Ethiopia. I have been praying (like crazy), researching, talking to other adoptive families, and reading other people’s adoption stories. I just can’t shake the feeling that maybe we are not considering all of our options. Here is where the struggle begins. Mark still feels certain that we are to adopt from Ethiopia. He too has been praying, but God has not pulled him in a different direction.

So for now, I just pray. I pray that God will either give me peace about adopting from Ethiopia, or that he will tug at Mark’s heart to consider other options. As much as I do not always like submitting to Mark’s authority and his ultimate place as the head decision maker, I have to. That is how God designed marriage. But let me tell you this, I would much rather be in my position than be in Mark’s. As the ultimate decision maker, he is the one who is directly held accountable by God, not me. And that my friends, makes the submission word a much easier weight to bear.

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