Showing posts with label Adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Adoption. Show all posts

November 13, 2013

What's next?



There is not much to report, but I want to pass along what we do know. 

Right now, there is about a one year wait from referral until travel. If this holds true, we will travel to bring home our little girl sometime next fall. 

Our attorney will go to court on our behalf in about 6 months. After that, the US Embassy will conduct an investigation that is expected to take about 6 months. 

The Congo has implemented a new investigation process that has extended the time between when we pass court and when we travel to go and bring our little girl home. Because this process is new, we are fairly uncertain what to expect. 

I know this is extremely vague, but I wanted to share any details that we have. I will most definitely post updates as we get them. 

This will probably be the longest year of our lives. Knowing that our child is half way across the world where we cannot take care of her is a hard reality. But I do know that she is in God’s hands and he will protect her. 

Please join us as we pray that our sweet little girl stays healthy, is well taken care of, and that we get to bring her home before expected!

October 25, 2013

Our DAUGHTER!

She is beautiful, she is loved, and she is ours! Our little GIRL is 3 years old and we are over the moon with excitement!

Two weeks ago, we received the referral that we have waited so long for. We took these past 2 weeks to pray and listen for God’s direction. On Wednesday, we officially accepted our referral.

This is just as much our daughter’s adoption story as it is ours. We want to protect her and her privacy. For this reason we are choosing not to share much about her online. 
BUT, you better believe I will be carrying a picture of her sweet little face wherever I go and I would love to share with you.


I will post more details later! YAY!!

April 4, 2013

why can't anything ever be easy?

If you or anyone you know has ever prepared a Dossier, you know the HOURS that go into getting it ready. A few weeks ago we completed our Dossier and sent it into our agency. They then sent off all the documents to be authenticated.

And guess what? All of our notarized documents had an incorrect date. Yay! (that was sarcastic). So now we get to redo all of those documents and send them back to our agency. We are looking at about a 3 week delay because of this one little mistake.

I used to let these little mishaps dictate my attitude. But you know what? We have been in this process for over 2 years now. What's 3 more weeks?

March 21, 2013

slightly embarrassed

We just had a visit with our homestudy social worker. Since our family dynamic has changed (meaning Zeke was born), we had to update our homestudy.

I thought she was just coming to check out our new little guy and maybe to make sure that having three kids has not made me go completely crazy. It never occurred to me that she would need to see where he sleeps.

Before I show you the pictures let me just say these things in my defense...
1. Three children create a lot of dirty clothes (especially when one of them is an infant).
2. One week is all it takes for them to create multiple loads of laundry...I promise I do their laundry every week.
3.  I had planned on putting laundry away earlier in the day, but it just did not happen - remember I have three kids.
4. Zeke is a really noisy sleeper...

Here is the maze of clothes we had to walk through in order to get to Zeke's "room". 

 Yes, this is our closet a.k.a. Zeke's room. I think it's nice and cozy, don't you?

So yes, she came to see me and the baby. But little did I know that she would also get to see Zeke's resting place. One day this will be funny...

March 20, 2013

whoomp there it is

This is it...all of it. Our Dossier for DRC is DONE and was mailed to our agency today! Doing my happy dance right now.

March 4, 2013

adoption update...and another change!

It has been a looooong time since I have posted about adoption. One because we have made some changes that I was not ready to public. And two because we have a newborn (an two other kids) who pretty such take up all my time and energy along with my thinking skills. Seriously, I have trouble even making coherent sentences 90% of the time.

We realized in October of last year that our i-600 approval was expiring in January, and not just any day in January, but Zeke's due date. Crazy, huh? So, we began the paperwork process...again.

If you have been following our journey, you may know that before we found out we were expecting #3, we were faced with a decision on whether to stay in Uganda or switch countries.
When we found out I was pregnant, we decided to stay put in Uganda and then make the decision closer to my due date.
And then in October, when we realized that our paperwork had to be updated, we also knew that we needed to make a choice on which country was best for our family.

Well, we decided to switch. We are now adopting from Democratic Republic of Congo.

There were several factors affecting our decision, but the overriding factor was travel time. We would have had to take one 8+ week trip to Uganda. Our original plan was to take the kiddos with us. But after Zeke was born, we knew that travel with all three kids, especially a baby may not be the wisest decision. And leaving the kids in the states while we traveled was not an option! I have trouble leaving them for a weekend, there is no way I could do it for 2 months!

So here we are...once again having to start certain processes over and once again finding ourselves on the paper chase.
Our adoption journey has been one of many emotions. When country processes change, it is frustrating, but it also reminds me of who is in control...and that is NOT me. God has showed me many times that He is sovereign over this entire process. It is not mine to control, it is His. Our baby is in His hands.

Now that we are settling in to being a family of 5, our adoption is back at the forefront of my mind. With that, I am hoping to do a better job of keeping y'all updated!

October 24, 2012

Let the paperwork begin...again

Adoption has not been on the forefront of my mind the past several months. With pregnancy and fall activities and everyday life, it has fallen to the wayside.

I still think about our baby in Africa, I still daily pray for him or her, but the details, the paperwork, has not been something on my mind...until last week.

I love how God uses those around us to remind us that He is not only in control of the big things, but he also is in all the little details of our lives, like paperwork. Over the past weeks I have seen new friends who are adopting, friends coming home with their babies, and heard stories of others who are on their journey. All these things combined brought our journey back up to me.

With that, I realized that our homestudy and immigration paperwork is about to expire. That same day, I contacted our adoption agency and our home study agency all to start this wonderfully fun part of the process I like to call the "paper chase". We technically should have started about 1 month ago, so we are kicking into high gear to gir r dun (yeah, I just said that).

So here we are again, in the details, gathering all the documents needed. Although tedious, it has given me a fresh reminder of our adoption and the sweet little face we will see at the end of this journey.


June 17, 2012

Hold up. I’m what?

To start this post I need to take you back about 2 ½ months. Our adoption agency called about a new country program in Africa. We would be good candidates for the program because of our family size and years of marriage. Our agency told us a little about the country, that there where children available, and that there were not any children on the horizon in Uganda.
Mark and I briefly discussed and prayed about the call, but decided that we wanted to stay in Uganda. We were OK with waiting. 

Fast forward about 2 weeks. We received an email from our agency that left us feeling defeated. For reasons (which we completely agree with) our agency needed to be more selective in the children who they were willing to accept into their Ugandan program. This decision would cause the number of children available for adoption to drastically decrease. AND in addition to this (here is the big one), they were uncertain about the stability of the program.

We had a hard time with this. We already switched countries from Ethiopia to Uganda. We did not want to switch again. But we also did not want to stay in a program that we felt would ultimately be a dead end.
For weeks, we prayed about a decision. We spoke numerous times with our adoption agency about the specifics of the new program and what it would mean for our adoption. 

I am not one to “hear” God, but I really wanted a clear answer on this one. I needed to know that whatever decision we made was completely His. 

Over these weeks, I began to lean towards switching programs. I could not shake the idea that Uganda was going to be a long road with no end in sight. I was beginning to feel a strong desire for our third child. So, I made my decision, I wanted to switch. 

BUT Mark was not ready yet. He felt that we would ultimately switch, but was sort of dragging his feet. So, I waited (and waited, and waited) on him to make a final decision. 

The time finally came where Mark had made his choice. The night before he was going to tell me he was ready to switch countries, we found out I was pregnant. Wait, stop the bus. What? Yep, I am pregnant!

I know, we were shocked too (and super excited!). I chart my cycle and (this may be TMI) I can feel when I ovulate. I have NO idea how I am pregnant. Well, that’s a lie; I do understand how it happens. But based on when I ovulated and when we, well you know, it just seems impossible.  

God gave me my answer. It was not what I thought it would be, but it is an answer. He wants us to wait. 

What does this mean for our adoption? We are going to stay in the Uganda program and reevaluate what it looks like in about 6 months. Only God knows what this program holds and for now, we are going to wait (some more). 

Baby Elliott is due on January 11th, 2013, which puts me at about 10 weeks pregnant! Praising the Lord for this precious child!

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March 9, 2012

to bring them or not to bring them?

A few things have changed on the adoption front. Our wait time has increased from 3 to 6 months to 9 to 12 months. We have been on the wait list for about 4 months, so we are looking at 5 to 8 more months until referral. On the up side, my hubby can save more vacation time to use for our trip to Uganda.

And about that trip…we are now thinking we will be gone for about 6 to 8 weeks. I miss my kids like crazy after 2 days, how can I handle 6 to 8 weeks?!

So my wheels have been turning. I want them to come with us. Yes, there are risks, but I just can’t fathom being away from them so long.

I would love your input. What should we consider? What are the pros/cons in your opinion? If you are a mom, what would you do? Give it to me straight.

January 11, 2012

Roller Coaster

Has anyone ever told you that adoption causes you to go through a roller coaster of emotions? Well, if they have, they weren’t joking.

The part about adoption that causes me to be the craziest is the fact that I have ABSOLUTELY NO control.  We are hoping and praying that we bring our child home this year, but we know there is a possibility we won’t. Heck, there is a chance Uganda will close tomorrow and then what? 

Last year at this time, we started our adoption process. (Can you believe it has been one year?) I was SO ready to be on the wait list. I needed to have a number on a wait list and I needed to have a time frame. I was being very impatient and trying to control the timing of our family.

Sometimes I put these silly little timelines out there. I say “well I really would like to have all of our children by age 35”. WHAT? Who do I think I am?
We have these wonderful, sweet friends who are in their late 40’s. They just had a perfect, healthy, little girl and they are GLOWING. I know that does not work for everyone, but what would I miss if I said “no more” after 35?

I am thankful that God has given me a patience that I did not have before. I am enjoying being a family of 4. I still have the feeling that someone is missing from our family; that we are not complete. But I now trust more in God’s perfect timing.

I still get impatient. There are even moments of fleeting temptation to switch to a quicker option.
But there is one word that I have to keep coming back to, trust. God has been faithful and he will continue to be faithful. He has a plan for our family and I have to trust in Him.

January 2, 2012

“Road to Home” Adoption Event in Cookeville

If you have not heard (or read), we are adopting from Uganda!!
In order to raise money for our adoption, we are hosting an adoption fundraiser in Cookeville at the First United Methodist Church.
There will be a delicious dinner, silent auction, and Lucy and Woody Adams will present “Our Love Story”. Visit www.52hymns.com to learn more about the Adams.

Details:
  • Held at Cookeville First United Methodist Church
  • Saturday, February 11th from 5:30-8:30
    • The silent auction will begin at 5:30, dinner will be served at 6:00, and Lucy and Woody will present beginning at 7:00
  • Tickets are $12 each and can be purchased on the right side bar or by calling 931-372-8828
  • There will be tons of great silent auction items to bid on
For those of you who have not heard Woody and Lucy's story, it is truly inspirational and for those who have, it is well worth hearing again. 

Email me at lindseychenelle@yahoo.com or call 931-372-8828 if you have additional questions.
We are SO excited about this event. Hope to see you there!

December 13, 2011

layering and an update (although there is really not much to update you on)

I think Tay has mastered the trend of layering. Let me tell you a little about what is going on here.
Everyday Tay has “quiet time” where she theoretically stays in her room for about an hour. We just gave her full reigns to her closet where all her shoes become cars and she dresses herself in random attire.
Today she came out with not one, not two, but three pairs of britches (as we here in the south like to call them). She also managed to put an additional shirt on. Not sure how it got on or how it came off.  
Oh, and the big busted lip is from a collision with Noah. Or as Tay likes to tell the story, “Noah hit her with his dino”. Poor, poor girl. Always being bullied by her baby brother.
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In adoption news, we are still waiting on a referral….and it will be like that for somewhere in the ballpark of 6 more months. Once we get our referral, it takes about 4 more months until we travel to Uganda. So if all goes as planned (HA, like anything ever goes as planned), we will hopefully be home with our baby by this time next year.

November 2, 2011

Wait list!!!

Does this title sound a little familiar? But this is not the wait list for Ethiopia; this is the wait list for Uganda :) 

If you remember here, I posted about the day we got on the wait list when we were in the Ethiopian program. And then here where I posted that we switched countries from Ethiopia to Uganda. When we switched, several of our documents had to be updated.

So here we are again, on the wait list, but this time for Uganda. And let me tell you, I have such a wonderful peace about Uganda. I am thankful that this is where we are and this is where we are going to stay.

Now on to update more paperwork…

September 22, 2011

A different country. A hard choice

If you have been here before you may know that I have had doubts about our adoption from Ethiopia. You can read about this here and here.

Over the past few months, God has been doing a lot of work in our hearts. As comfortable as we were sitting on the wait list for Ethiopia, we began to see that might not be what God had for us.

Last week, we left our Ethiopia program.
Yes, we are still adopting, but God has led us in a new direction and to a different country. He is showing us truths about special needs children.

We have been praying like crazy over the past months. I have looked into many other countries in Africa and several different options for adoption. I have spoken with adoption agencies, orphanages, attorneys, and families who have adopted from Africa.
All doors seemed to be closing, all except one.

We are now pursuing adoption from Uganda! We are drawn to the country, its culture, and the children there. Our hearts have also been opened to the possibility of adopting a child with special needs. Read more about that here.

Why would God lead us to Ethiopia only to ask us to switch 6 months later? Were we just not hearing God correctly? As much as that thought runs through my head, I don’t think it is the answer. I do think God led us to Ethiopia, but for some reason He is now asking us to go in a different direction.

This has been a HARD decision. We both felt a strong pull to Ethiopia only months ago. But ultimately this is God’s decision, not ours. His plans for our adoption are much better than our own and we have to give full control to Him.

September 9, 2011

Love our neighbors!

We love our neighborhood for so many reasons; the friends we have made, all of the kids who we have grown to love, and the endless possibilities of play dates.
We are also grateful for how supportive they have been surrounding our adoption. One of our neighbors organized a fundraiser for us and another adoptive family in our neighborhood. All we had to do was show up and eat ice cream!

Since the 2 wonderful photographers who live in our neighborhood either forgot a camera or the battery ran out (ehem Tiffany and Diane), I was on camera duty. Out of about 100 shots, this is what I had to work with.
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Thanks neighbors!

August 18, 2011

Following the leader, the leader, the leader

Can you tell that I have been watching Peter Pan A LOT?!?! Tay goes through phases of movies. Right now, she is in a Peter Pan phase which means we watch parts of it at least 3 days a week.

This post actually has absolutely nothing to do with Peter Pan, movies, or Taylor. It has to do with marriage.

One area in marriage where I struggle is in following Mark. Let me say this first, Mark is AWESOME! God made him to be the leader of our family and I am to submit to his authority (there is that dang submit word). The majority of the time we agree on our family decisions. Those are the easy ones.

But lately…

A few posts back, I wrote about some uncertainties that I have surrounding our adoption. I still feel 100% led to adopt. I still feel 100% that our baby is in Africa. BUT I no longer feel 100% that our baby is in Ethiopia. I have been praying (like crazy), researching, talking to other adoptive families, and reading other people’s adoption stories. I just can’t shake the feeling that maybe we are not considering all of our options. Here is where the struggle begins. Mark still feels certain that we are to adopt from Ethiopia. He too has been praying, but God has not pulled him in a different direction.

So for now, I just pray. I pray that God will either give me peace about adopting from Ethiopia, or that he will tug at Mark’s heart to consider other options. As much as I do not always like submitting to Mark’s authority and his ultimate place as the head decision maker, I have to. That is how God designed marriage. But let me tell you this, I would much rather be in my position than be in Mark’s. As the ultimate decision maker, he is the one who is directly held accountable by God, not me. And that my friends, makes the submission word a much easier weight to bear.

Heart break

These are the stories that make my heart break in two. I cannot believe we live in a world where any child is treated in this way. Every child is precious. Every child is a gift from God.

Please read about his little girl. Help in any way you can. Spread the word. Pray.

For nothing will be impossible with God. Lk 1:37


August 7, 2011

Something more?

One year ago I knew almost nothing about the orphan crises. Did not understand how many orphans there are in this world. Could not even think about how many children have no one to love them, no one to care for them, and no family to speak of. I did not truly understand the need.

Yes, God has led us to adopt. Yes, there will be one less orphan. But is that enough? The answer is a big fat NO! Children are hungry, thirsty, and unloved. Children still need homes, they need forever families. What about them? How can I care for them?
And what about the families who want to keep their children, but simply cannot afford to feed them?

I sit here with a heavy heart. I long to do more, but have no idea where to start.

Ideas run through my head and then excuses follow close behind. My plate is always “too full”. There are so many opportunities and wonderful organizations that serve orphans. Are there any missions or organizations that you recommend?

I read the following on one of my favorite blogs. It was written by Richard Stearns. It definitely has be thinking that I need to be doing MORE!

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"For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink ..." --Matthew 25:35-36

Jesus' words are a powerful and inspiring reminder as I sit in my office browsing on news websites the stories and images of the staggering tragedy unfolding in the Horn of Africa.

Nearly 10 million people are "critically short of food," according to the United Nations, due to what UN officials say is the region's worst drought since I was born 60 years ago. Those 10 million people live in Kenya, Ethiopia, Uganda, Djibouti and war-ravaged Somalia.

For some, the stories and images will be reminders of the Ethiopian famine. Twenty-five years ago, the images of bloated, dying children, images unlike any others seen before by millions of Americans, prompted a massive outpouring of donations and offers to help. That outpouring culminated in the "Live Aid," concerts in Philadelphia and London, the latter of which brought a group I had never heard of before to the world's attention -- U2.

For others, the name "Somalia" brings back the events of 1991-1994 when hundreds of thousands of Somalis were starving, prompting a U.S.-led peacekeeping force to intervene. That effort led to a military operation against Somali warlords and, regrettably, the deaths of 42 American soldiers.

I am reminded of two things.

First, the faces, the voices and the stories of people I've met in Kenya, Ethiopia and Uganda. Kenya was the first nation I visited after joining World Vision in 1998, and where I learned one of the most important lessons of my life: Poverty is not an image, or a statistic; poverty has a face, a name and a story.

Second, I am reminded of the powerful and provocative quote from Josef Stalin: "A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic."

I fear that for many Americans -- Christians and people of other faiths or no faith -- will devote little time or attention, let alone resources, to the people suffering in the Horn of Africa. Rather they are preoccupied with "First World problems":

~~ How fluctuations in the stock market are affecting my 401(k) investments;
~~ Where to go on my next vacation;
~~ Whether to buy "name brand" or "store brand" items in the supermarket;
~~ Which diet and workout regimen will enable me to lose 10 pounds in a month; or
~~ The struggle over my next computer -- a notebook, a laptop, or the new iPad2?

Or worse, they are obsessed with finding out where Casey Anthony might be living, now that she's been released from jail after being acquitted of charges that she murdered her daughter, Caylee. Thousands of Americans followed Ms. Anthony's trial closely, and expressed outrage when she was found not guilty. They wanted justice for Caylee's death. Where's their outrage or sense of justice for the millions of children at-risk of dying in the Horn of Africa? Their lack of attention proves the late Soviet premier's admonition.

Many "First World" Americans have never met a person with "Third World problems":

~~ Whose income is $2 a day and who has never heard of a 401 (K);
~~ Whose only travel plans are traipsing by foot from Somalia into Kenya to a refugee camp;
~~ Whose primary source of drinking water is infested with animal feces, and has never been inside a supermarket;
~~ Who lost 10 pounds in the last week because of too little or even no food, and who has no use for a health club membership; or
~~ Who has no access to electricity, and does not need -- and maybe has not ever seen -- a computer.

I have the privilege of knowing people facing both First World and Third World problems. It is a privilege because, I believe, Jesus would consider it a privilege. He met with, ate meals alongside and learned from those His society considered its lowest and its outcasts -- prostitutes, tax-collectors, the poor and victims of injustice.

He would have been honored to meet and serve people like Hawo, a woman believed to be about 75-years-old who lives in Kalabeyr, a remote town in northern Somalia. Thanks to my World Vision colleagues working in the region, I know more about Hawo, than I ever will know -- or even want to know -- about Casey Anthony.

After the drought killed the more than 500 goats and sheep Hawo and her eight children lived on, they were forced to abandon their pastoral way of life and move to Kalabeyr. The nine of them live in a makeshift tukul, a small room within the compound of one of the town residents.

It is Hawo whom Mark Bowden

Jesus' words about hunger and thirst, as quoted in Matthew, led me a few years ago to create an NIT version (New Irreverent Translation), one that Americans obsessed with "First World problems" might relate to:

"For I was hungry, while you had all you needed. I was thirsty, but you drank bottled water."

We did not create the desperate conditions of drought and famine threatening the lives of 10 million people in the Horn of Africa. But, as Christians, it is our responsibility to do something about it. It is our moral duty to help our neighbors in need -- here in the U.S. and elsewhere, and God commands us to help those we have the means to help. We cannot look at their situation -- on television, in newspapers or magazines, or on the Internet -- shrug our shoulders, and say, "Not my problem."

Written by Richard Stearns.
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August 5, 2011

Murky water

It seems that my blog posts come in spurts. Lately I have had so much rolling around in my head; there have been no words to express my feelings.

I have been a little unsure about the specifics of our adoption. Questions have been running through my mind. Is Ethiopia where we should be adopting? Is our agency the right one for us? Should we change the parameters for the child we are waiting for?

To be honest, I am not sure where these questions are coming from. There is uncertainty with any adoption, but it seems like there is ALOT with ours. The wait list seems to be getting longer which is obviously frustrating. And I seem to have this “feeling” that maybe we are not thinking about all options when considering our child.

I am thankful for a God who knows the plans He has for us. I am grateful that He knows our child and already has the details worked out. However, it does not change my lack of confidence in areas of our adoption process. I try to trust, but want to be sure that we are hearing His call and are attentive to His direction.

If you think of us and our adoption, say a little prayer. We can always use them :)
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jer 29:11
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July 19, 2011

From 2 to 3

I often wonder what it will be like when we go from having two children to three. For me, going from zero children to one was fantastic! When Taylor was born, I was SO ready to be a mommy. I was able to stay home with her; she was a great sleeper and a pleasure to be around. However, my transition from one child to two children was HARD. Noah was a great baby, but I was overwhelmed. Tay was 20 months old and still a baby herself. There were days when I would sit on our stairs and just cry. I had no idea how to be a mommy of 2. But as time has passed and as both Taylor and Noah grow, I am finding much more joy and beauty in this stage. Obviously we still have hard days, but the feelings of being overwhelmed have mostly subdued.

And now here we are, getting ready to add another to our family. I know there will be struggles, but I imagine they will be of a different kind. I find myself thinking about my strengths and weaknesses and how God will prepare me for this third child.

My heart overflows with love for children. Finding a special place in my heart for our new child will not be a problem. But then I think about the lack of patience I frequently have with our children. Or the amount of stress I often feel. These are the times when I don’t know how I get through the day with two children, much less three. These are also the times when I find myself on my knees acknowledging my complete and utter reliance on God and his grace. And since today is one of those days, I am thankful to know where to look when I realize I cannot do this by myself :)
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